What woman has not been on this shopping mission only to return home empty handed, deflated and wanting to stuff custard creams down their throats and slurp hot Yorkshire tea whilst watching Ice Loves Coco, which, as you well know, ALWAYS makes you feel better!
Well I recently ventured out to inflict this pain on myself because I'd seen a pair of lovely maroon, skinny skin tight cords (CORDS!) in Gap - they were featured in lots of magazines and they looked lovely (on all the pin-thin models) so I was keen, quite keen, keen as mustard - what does that mean anyway?
Now, maroon cords remind me of being 12, I don't know why, I'm not even sure I had a pair of maroon cords when I was 12, or actually I think I did, but I digress. These cords looked lovely in the press, looked lovely in the shop (where the colour is called wild raisin hmm) and then I put them on.
Now, they slipped on lovely, very soft and they did up fine so the sizing was good but they did something very odd to my legs. You know those big purple pipes you see at the side of the motorway when they are doing road works? well my legs looked like that, big concertina pipes instead of legs....oh!
Well, I was quite miserable, Mr P didn't know where to look so I sent him out to get me the ordinary denim always skinnys instead - you know, just to make sure it wasn't my legs fault for concertina-ing up.
Well he arrives back with these little gems and I'm looking dubious at him because they look a funny shape and he's saying "try them on" and, well, I'm glad that I did....ooh I say, they fit a treat.
VERY tight - a bit like when you got your Mum to take your jeans in back in the 1980s because they just weren't tight enough already (what? you didn't do that?), and quite comfortable too....I'm saying quite comfortable instead of amazingly comfortable because when wearing them you are conscious that you won't be eating any pies anytime soon.
Then I went and didn't something slightly crazy lady-ish. Well they did have a 25% off denim weekend and well I did think that a nice dark denim colour would look nice with boots for the autumn and then when I got there the light grey ones looked quite lovely too. Oh dear, see where this is heading?
I am now the proud owner of three pairs of always skinny jeans from Gap. The moral of this story is don't give up after your first try, avoid all pies for as long as possible and don't return to the store if they have a big discount weekend.....OKAY!
ps. the sun is shining, it is hot, it is September WTF!!!
pps. I've even got shorts on
Source for all pics.