09/03/2014

have courage


If you don't ask, you don't get.

A simple little ditty, oft quoted, much ignored.  Harder for some to believe than others especially if you are a Brit like me, who learned from a young age that asking for stuff is somehow vulgar. Nevertheless, I love this quote, so short, so simple, so get what you want if you dare to ask true.

Sometimes it's more about having the courage to admit something to yourself. To finally say I want this, I want this so bad, I want this so bad I could cry.  It might be knowing you need to lose weight, leave a relationship, start your own business or ask for a pay rise at work. For me it was admitting to myself that I desperately wanted to have a baby.

Sounds silly but it was hard as hell.  Hard because I'd wanted it for a long time, harder because I'd been told by the doctors that I was just too old. Fair enough, I was 39 at the time, and we had been trying for a while. They said our only option for having a baby would be IVF. I was gutted. I didn't want IVF, I'm not patient enough to deal with the fuss or strong enough to deal with the heartache. So instead I got drunk as hell (my usual response to a crisis) and did the one thing I'd never dreamed I would do.

I dared myself to write the wish down.

This dare was enabled by the fact it was the Christmas holidays and I always write resolutions for the coming year over the holiday period. I will sit myself down, have a think and set my intentions for the year ahead.  And so I found myself at the end of 2011, three months short of my 40th birthday writing these words: 2012 - I'm going to have a baby.

My stomach was churning, my palms were sweating and my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to faint.  Writing those words down was the hardest thing I'd ever done, why is it so difficult to admit secret wishes to yourself?  Is it the fear of failure, the permanence of the words serving as a reminder of your inability to fulfil your dreams?

I haven't got the answers but what I will say to you is that within the month, within the actual month, by the middle of January I was pregnant. Really pregnant, wee on twenty sticks just to be sure pregnant and every time I look back at those words on the page I smile to myself knowing that I did something good.

Have courage my loves, be brave in 2014 and ask for what you want even if it's just a second piece of pie because if you want it, you should have it and the only thing stopping you is you!



:: beautiful quote source via pinterest ::

2 comments:

  1. Yes! Another beautiful post miss Emma!
    The motto of my blog is Audrey Hepburn's "nothing is impossible" quote. I do believe that if you want it and try hard enough for it, you'll achieve it. (Your dream that is). (And let the naysayers go **** themselves!)

    Enjoy the week!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I get it !! I believe those words.....

    ReplyDelete

Hey there

Got something on your mind?

Did I make you laugh, cry or even spit feathers?

Tell me, tell me, I appreciate all feedback and love a good chat. I even turned that stupid word verification off to make it easier for you to do so.

Emma